Something different – a little post on hope, mental health, and vulnerability

What an interesting and new experience the last year and a half have been!

Like most of you, I have been experiencing a whirlwind of emotions and maybe like some of you – got just a sprinkle bit sad – or depressed or whatever you want to call it. It happens to the best of us, and just so happened to happen to me!

Working through the pandemic – who knew being a little grocery store worker would end up being such a busy job, and still working through the pandemic has been different. My position quickly became more and more important and it was just difficult to keep up with it all. Things started slipping – housework, gardening, my blog, and sadly some things, at least to me, seemed like they weren’t worth working towards anymore. So I stopped writing, stopped documenting the cooking and baking, and felt like it didn’t really matter one way or the other. In reality this was probably the beginning of my slip into the doldrums and looking back I now realize how significant it was that I would willingly give up some of the things that I enjoy doing.

In January of the year, I had pretty much given up on thoughts of my blog, until one day I got an email notification that my WordPress account had automatically renewed. There I was, a little miffed about the couple hundred dollars I had basically wasted. Then I started to think about it differently. For me, I really believe that life will give you signs and gently encourage you in the directions of your journey. Maybe this was life giving me a sign that it wasn’t time to give up. Not just yet, at least.

Ever since then I’ve thought about starting writing again, but quickly dismissed the idea and got busy with something else. (Work is a great distraction) However, for some reason or another, I couldn’t stop the idea from bubbling up to the surface every now and then. Some inner voice just telling me to “work on the blog”.

So I have. After some time and thought, I really have made the decision that this blog is important to me. Somehow the process of writing out the directions and showing people how to bake, really does bring me a fulfillment of some sort in life. I feel like somehow I might be helping someone.

Like everyone, the pandemic has affected my life. So many of the things I thought I wanted are just not important in the way I thought they were. My new goal is to help. Help people learn to bake, help people learn to accomplish things they are interested in trying.

So what am I rambling about? Well, I feel like nowadays more than ever people sharing their stories about struggling is more acceptable than ever. I want people to know that if they’re feeling sad or helpless that they are not alone. I also want people to know that it’s so easy to give up on yourself. If you have given up on yourself, it’s not too late to give it another go. Re-think your approach. Anywho, basically what I am saying is, that somehow I fell into a depression and somehow I feel like I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. A “makeover” of sorts to put it lightly. Really just a makeover of my attitude I suppose.

So there it is, through all of my carefully staged pictures, I am just a little old human being, who is trudging through life and (now) trying to make the best of it. To all of my fellow trudgers – good luck, don’t give up the good fight, and keep on keeping on!

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